After More Than a Year of Contemplation...

First off, I want to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It is now 2012. I went through half of 2010 and the entire year of 2011 without one single blog post. Simply put, I was depressed. My life was a dull series of routines. Day in, day out, I performed required tasks like a hamster on a wheel. My alarm would go off in the morning, and I would GO. I wouldn't stop until my body quite literally dragged me into bed, usually in the wee hours of the next day. I was not proud of the machine I had become. I was alive, but I was not fulfilled. I was alive, but I was not fulfilled. I WAS ALIVE BUT I WAS NOT FULFILLED!

What kind of life is that?

I survived Breast Cancer. That means a lot of things. I survived Breast Cancer means I am blessed. I walked away from a Stage 3 tumor and metastasis with MY LIFE. I survived Breast Cancer means I am strong. I have endured a lot (from personal tragedy to cancer treatment) and am still around to talk about it. I survived Breast Cancer... means that this wonderful thing we know as LIFE is so fragile, and so short, with all I have been through, I just want to ENJOY the life I have left. I want to bask in the happiness of my children's smiles and laughter. I want to give them a lifetime of wonderful memories that they can hold onto forever. I want to experience a LOVE that doesn't degrade or control, one that allows me to live MY life, one that appreciates the woman I am and the blessings I have received thus far, one that allows for us to grow TOGETHER.

I am here. I am thankful and so grateful. In 2012, I promise myself that I will work harder to achieve my goals. I will no longer block my blessings! I will be happy in this life, or I will die trying.

Thank you for reading.